Chronicles of dRa

FYI, blog ini sudah bertahun-tahun tidak pernah saya update. Seluruh tulisan saya untuk selanjutnya bisa dilihat di SINI dan di sini. Demikian. Terima kasih.

I don’t want to live this way no more
I don’t want to fight this endless lonely war
I don’t want to stand alone, without the only love I’ve known
And never find that ray of light we had before
I never meant to break your precious heart
And what I did can’t be undone and it’s tearing me apart
Far too late for promises, but if you gave us one more chance
You would see a better man worth fighting for

Love sweet love I feel your power
Hear my prayer, we’re in your hands now
Take these hearts so lost and broken. Bring us home again

If this prayer for love is never heard
Oh, and if you have to walk away for these are only words
Baby I will understand but I will always be that man
Waiting here for you with love and open arms

Love sweet love I feel your power
Hear my prayer, we’re in your hands now
Take these hearts so lost and broken. Bring us home again

Remember all the times we had, the dreams that we once shared
I swear I’ll bring them back to you again
Again

Love sweet love I feel your power
Hear my prayer, we’re in your hands now
Take these hearts so lost and broken. Bring us home again

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
It’s been three years since my last confession and I’ve made another mistake. Why? Well, no one really understand why, not even myself.

Do you still remember my last one? I told you then, that: it suits me sometimes, this so called "casual" life. I don’t have to get involved. I can be intimate without being tied down (Figuratively speaking). You thank the Lord a thousand times for making them a pain in somebody else’s ass. and yet, you feel lonely all the same. There’s no room for you in the exchange. It’s about the needs, and nothing but the needs. We all just want to be received, and you and I (We’re good at that, arent we?) Receiving pain upon pain.

Now don’t look appaled. I’m doing a service here, every bit as effective as yours. The only difference is, yours is sanctioned, while mine is scorned. But I’m not here to argue or convince you of anything. I just want somebody to talk to, someone who’ll listen to my story and not wanna judge me five minutes later.
The problem with me is, women are drawn to me the way people are drawn to a car crash: a beautiful old-wreck on the side of the road (because misery is both a lure and a trap): Interesting to fuck but hell to live with. I was thinking that I’m never gonna be a good husband, but I know I’m just lying to myself. Truth is, I hate being alone. I hate being dirty little secret, the tasty side dish, the little weekend masochist for the lovers. So why do I persist in doing (And being) the very thing I hate? I don’t supposed you have anything to say to that (And I’m gonna make sure you don’t by continuing to talk talk talk into your big ear).

But at some point, I’m stuck in a situation where all the changes for the good things I made mean nothing to the society. They’d rather see me the way I was, just to make their life more interesting by talking ’bout other people’s sin. Sin is stubborn isn’t it? One sin, and that’s all it takes to throw away all the efforts I made for the last three years. That’s it’s ugliest, most merciless face, is what casts us into the deepest, coldest circle of hell.

-dRa-

..nothin’ seems to work, everybody seems to move further… Got no one beside me… I’m just a guy, tryin’ to survive, makin mistakes and eventually learnt from them…

..i’m alone..

..all alone..

-dRa-

The N1 Corporation just started to expand, when things just become more and more complicated… (this ain’t gonna work, not in a million years..) So, we decided to reshuffle the team, and make a new name for it, called design-at-work, neat eh?

-dRa-

Finally I took the time to activate this feature… ;p Been kinda busy for the past few weeks. These are just some junks I had in mind, and it could help me sometimes by writing it down and post it This is dRa, signing off…

-dRa-